Showing posts with label observer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label observer. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

For the Love of Christ, Show Us Your Bling


A couple of months ago, I went with my family to New York City.  My husband was participating in a conference and my daughter and I were there to visit the zoo, shop, and see as much artwork as possible.  One outing involved what my daughter considered to be a long subway ride.  As I had already inflicted several trips by subway upon her (some involving incorrect stops resulting in more subway rides), my daughter was a bit tired by our third day of sightseeing and subway cruising.   After several people had exited at a busy stop, my daughter spotted two open seats near the door.  She was on her way to the closet seat when a twenty-something, able-bodied couple pushed in front of her to take the seats.  We have been to the city several times and are quite used to pushy people, but this time my daughter got just a bit of a quivery upper lip.

I shrugged and tried to tell her with my eyes that this was just what happens in the big city.  I also wanted to tell those seat-stealing folks how I felt about them with my eyes.   Instead of looking deep into the eyes of the worst offender (young, well-cut dude), my eyes were enchanted by the movement of something shiny.  Very shiny.  And very gold.  And large.  Yes, this dude was able-bodied enough to be able to bear the weight of a 6” crucifix.   Six inches might not seem like a great deal, but when it is a chunk of heavy swinging metal -- that’s a heck of a lot of cross to wear.  Especially for a man who did not ask himself, in front of a tired child, what would Jesus do?

I’m thinking that Jesus would stand while a child sat.  Jesus would be aware of his surroundings and would give a damn about the suffering of others, no matter how minor.  Jesus wouldn’t sprawl over two subway seats.  And I’m assuming this dude is wearing the cross because he is representing Jesus.  Could be he’s just making a fashion statement.  Whatever.  He’s an ass adorned with a cross.  A cross that is likely to take out the front teeth of anyone that is in swinging radius. 

We stand.  We ride.  We get off several stops later.

I begin to notice others wearing crosses.   While I see many, I’ve yet to see one quite as large.

I noticed three women at the hotel wearing crucifixes.  Smaller.  More discreet.  Yet somehow, just as disturbing as the dude’s.  Each one was inset with diamonds.  Did these women go into their local jeweler’s and say, “I’d like a diamond necklace.  No.  Wait.  I’d like a symbol of my Savior.   No.  Wait.  Can I combine the two?”  Or maybe these necklaces were gifts from their adoring husbands.  Did their husbands walk into the jewelry store and request a special something for their pious brides?  They certainly wore these pendants with pride.  The glint in their eyes seemed to say, “Look upon my chest.  There you will see my love for Christ.  I know I love him.  But I want YOU to know that I love the Lord.  I am a lamb of my Savior.  I also don’t give a shit about children mining for gold and diamonds in African countries.  They are not lambs of the Savior. I am blessed and those children can dig those freakin’ diamonds up for me.”

If you must show innocent bystanders that you are a Christian, forget the bling.  Get yourself two rough sticks of wood, lash them together with ragged twine or a bit of shoelace too small for a homeless person to use, and string that around your neck.  Make sure it’s pretty darn big.  And heavy.  You might also want to think about adding some nails and thorns for a bit of discomfort.  It would be a bit easier, and far less expensive, to go about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.  And nearby children would not have to fear having their teeth knocked out.

Friday, February 18, 2011

I Feel Good

Well, actually, I've been feeling a bit pissy lately. What with living in the northern lands and medical issues and missing my mother and what not.

But these,




well, they just do something to me. These "industrial blooms" look like they're dancing to James Brown. So get that "I Feel Good," tune in your mind and go have a look at Paula Art's happy found item flowers.

See more of Paula's art and read her blog here.


I just saw something move! I swear those flowers are dancing.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Yes, that does make your ass look big


Oh, that hot new trend of wearing shorts over tights!

Not good. Unless you are shaped (or rather, not shaped) like the twiglet shown above.

A weekend in New York City will turn up hundreds upon hundreds of "fashionistas" dressed in these chunky shorts (light) over tights (dark). Hmmmmmmm.

Fashion facts: Light colors make items appear larger. Dark colors make items appear smaller.

Unless you are a runway model, do not attempt this look. Unless you are a practicing anorexic, do not attempt this look. Unless you are under 25 and fall into one of the above categories, do not attempt this look.

Are you over 25? Are you over 95 pounds? Are you under 5'10"?

If you've answered yes to any of the above questions, then yes, your ass looks big in those shorts.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Some Lovely Photos

So my new Uppercase Magazine arrived this week, packed full of stylish goodness.

As usual, it is full of luscious photos. And discussions of blogs which feature photography.

I am always impressed by someone who can turn a photo of a cup of coffee, gas pump, used condom, etc., into a work of art.

If a take a day of photos and hooch them up in Photoshop, will it make me a lovely and hip person too?

Doubt it.

Buy anyway, I ran around the house for 30 seconds with my camera and took a small handful of photos and piddled in photoshop (never done that before) and here is a look at my exciting day in the land of housewifery avoidance.


Laundry, with an added dollop of graininess and grit.


Very sick kitty. Can't remember what I did to this photo. Don't care.


Cure (ha) for migraine on large mottled leaf. I altered this photo, too. Don't remember what I did. Have headache. Don't care.

So now, I'm off to pop another pill into the cat, dress the resulting wounds, start the laundry, and pop another pill into myself.

And then I'll dream about my future in photography.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Missing Link


There it is, right in the middle, the missing link. Scientists have been searching for this forever!!! I think I should inform Richard Dawkins right now.

Both the grill on the left and on the right have evolved from this primitive form over the years. It's quite the (rusted) fossil!

This lovely display is in front of the house across the street from mine. I fortunately/unfortunately face the side and back of the house. All angles are equally bad I think. Penn State football weekends are not complete without a party at this house. The young, hairy-backed, knuckle-dragging primitive men who inhabit the house recycle their beer bottles from the upper floors. I wouldn't walk barefoot in their yard. I once saw a burning mattress being shoved out of a second-floor bedroom by a couple of firemen. I wonder whether someone was grilling in bed.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Today's Patriotism - Stupidity on Parade

I’m guessing that because yesterday was Labor Day in the U.S., that there was a parade somewhere. And parading will be folks that glorify in the stupidity that is rampant in this country. Somewhere, signs will be held aloft stating one’s believe in the Tea Party group. Others will insult our President, possibly calling him a Muslim or scribbled with a lightly veiled racist comment, quite possibly misspelled. When Americans gather to celebrate our country on national holidays, the voices of the ignorant ring out the loudest.

Why is it that Americans are encouraged, or even coerced, into equating patriotism with ignorance? The less we learn about or question our government, the more patriotic we become in the eyes of the flag-waving public.

Don’t believe me? Remember in the last presidential election, those who did their research on the candidates and wanted to ask them questions were called intellectuals in voices tinged with disgust. And the candidates themselves? Those who were educated and employed a varied vocabulary were also called intellectuals in voices filled with disgust and then equated with communists.

We are so quick to poke fun at other countries and laugh about their methods of mind control. In North Korea, loud speakers praise the Great Leader and countrymen are expected to believe every word. Many countries (attempt to) ban all media from outside sources and to trust their leader and their God at any cost.

We label those here who question their government as treasonous or communistic. We are quick to believe anything we hear in 20-second “news” reports without bothering to know or care who owns the news station. We sit in front of our televisions watching reality shows while eating genetically modified foods without knowing or caring how this food arrived on the non-recyclable, microwavable plastic tray in front of us. Our reading material is Us and People magazines. Our books, if we have any, are “self-help” books written by televangelists. If we are “connected”, we are embedding cute animal videos on Facebook.

I am fortunate to live in a Democracy. I don’t have to worship a Great Leader. I still don’t have to wear a Burqa. I have the freedom to write this blog. I have a brain and it has great capacity (less as I age, however). I am fortunate along with more than 300,000,000 people. We will, however, find ourselves much less fortunate in the near future if we shirk our duties as citizens. It is our duty to learn and contribute (not just financially) to our country, not just sit in our overstuffed recliners and let corporate government feed us soft drinks and Twinkies.

We’re not doing ourselves or our country any good by remaining complacent, ignorant, and running up our flags of patriotic stupidity on every national holiday.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Can't Burqa This

One of the blogs I read periodically is written by the ever-cool Ricë Freeman-Zachery. Today's treat is a video by 90-year-old Ilona Royce Smithkin. Here is a fascinating woman doing things her way.

This makes me think of those ban the burqa debates I have been watching on YouTube (along with the videos of the atheist hotties). I won't state my opinion on this debate in this post. I do have opinions. They have wavered. They have been been becoming more concrete. This video helps to solidify my beliefs further.



I will strive to become more like her as I age, and believe in the rights of all women to do the same.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Side of the Road Sighting

He was scary-looking. He was far from clean. If I had been walking, I would have changed over to the other side of the street. Bad enough. Then I read his clothing.

His black T-shirt was emblazoned with white letters, large enough to read from a comfortable(?) distance.

I F*CK DEAD PEOPLE (the asterisk is inserted by me).

He was mighty close to the street.

Perhaps I should have quickly slapped on a bumper sticker that read:

I RUN THE F*CK OVER PEOPLE I BELIEVE HAVE RECENTLY KILLED OR RAPED OR MUTILATED A LIVING THING. I ALSO RUN THE F*CK OVER PEOPLE I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE ARE ON THEIR WAY TO KILL OR RAPE OR MUTILATE A LIVING THING.

Perhaps he picked this shirt out of a garbage bin. Could be that he cannot afford to purchase clothing. If I had nothing, and could not speak or read the English language, I still would be quite reluctant to wear this. If this were the case, wouldn't a sane person turn the shirt inside out so no one could read it?

Perhaps next time I will swerve and take out a nasty t-shirt wearing perv to save the life of an innocent person or people.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Festive!


Photo stolen from another blog.

I wonder if Liberace is dancing to the tune of "You're a Grand Old Flag"?

I love it!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Error




Error.

Voluntary ignorance is not an option.

You must make another selection.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Some Things Never Change

Remember this post about dream careers for girls.

Well, it seems as if some things never change.


This book was taken last weekend at an independent bookstore (yep, they still exist) in Roanoke, VA. Look closely at the photos on the covers of those books. Indeed, girls are still encouraged to become nurses and teachers. Certainly not truck drivers or pilots. I must say, I never had an interest in becoming a truck driver, but I may have considered pilot. It was just never brought up.

I won't go into another rant about this. But now I have visual proof to share with you.

And yes, Virginia, there is an independent bookstore. Oh, wonder of wonders! This is Ram's Head bookstore in Roanoke, VA. One of the coolest kid sections EVER.

We supported the independent bookstore. Items were purchased. Just not those shown in the photo.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Things I Never Want to Hear Again

I'm not writing anything serious today. It's too sunny, my house is filled with peonies, and after planting flowers I am freshly showered. So I'm as close to happy as I can be.

Sure, I know there are lots of serious things I never want to hear or hear about again -- violence, hunger, oil spills. Not going there.

But I'm going here:

Things I never want to hear again.
  1. The sound of my dog vomiting.
  2. The sound of my cat vomiting.
  3. The sound of a spoiled rotten kid whining.
  4. "I just loooooove WalMart!"
  5. Gas-powered lawn tools operated by a sweaty, shirtless dickhead while I'm planting flowers.
  6. The name Kardashian
  7. Rap music. Yeah, I know I'm not cool. I'm just tired of this shit dumbing down society.
  8. Extreme flatulence in a McDonald's restroom.
  9. Chicks snapping their gum while standing next to me, or anywhere for that matter.
  10. The sound of my garbage disposal tearing up another spoon.

What about the rest of you guys? What sounds annoy you to no end?

Friday, May 21, 2010

Inspector #13

Yesterday morning, as I was donning a new shirt, I happened to notice a bitty label on the inside of the shirt. It had already been washed of course. I’m notorious for not peeling off ALL of the little sticky labels and then having them permanently adhered to the article of clothing.

Inspector 13 had the job of checking out my shirt. I’ve been wondering all day if inspector 13 has any issues with being #13. Does inspector #13 feel cursed? Do black cats cross his or her path all day long? Are ladders placed along #13’s path? Did #13 break a mirror in the last several years?

In reading the label in the back of the shirt later in the day, I attempted to find out more about inspector #13. The shirt was made in Guatemala. Was the shirt inspected in Guatemala or was it shipped off to another country to be inspected? I’m going to assume that the cotton was grown in Guatemala. I could be wrong. Do citizens of Guatemala fear the number 13? Perhaps there it is a lucky number. Is inspector 13 proud to be an inspector? Is this a sought-after job, whether in Guatemala or the United States? Is number #13 working under safe conditions? Is there a chance in hell that inspector #13 has health care?

Then, there are the conditions under which the cotton is grown? Were forests destroyed to grow this cotton? How many people and/or animals were displaced to create these fields? What are the field conditions for the workers? Do the workers arrive each day in the field wondering how to improve their lot in life? Do they feel oppressed by their government? Do they feel forgotten by the government? Do BMWs drive by them as they walk barefoot home from work? Are these workers resentful of inspector #13?

What the hell goes into the creation of my $8.00 Target Boyfriend Pocket T-shirt? Yeah, sure, I could go into a boutique and pay $60 for a similar shirt. Any chance of that shirt being made in the United States from materials grown in the United States? Unlikely. If so, any chance of the workers being treated fairly, provided with healthcare and working under safe conditions? Is there any chance that my thinking about such issues will actually do anything to improve working conditions around the world? Should I go naked to protest injustice in the cotton fields and factories of the world?

Jeez, this post got away from me. I was just giving a little thought to inspector #13. Guess there’s no such thing as a little thought.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The New Guns are Here! The New Guns are Here!




Every other Friday, I usually get myself a chocolate milkshake for lunch and go and loiter at Barnes and Noble. I would loiter at other bookstores, but there aren't any. Sigh.

So, I'm rummaging through home, art, and craft magazines when I notice a young teenage boy off to my left leafing through a magazine. His dad is looking at a fishing magazine. I'm assuming son was looking at a gun magazine, because he says, somewhat excitedly, "Hey! Dad! There's a new gun out!."

This is one of those things that I just don't think about often. Actually, not at all. I never wonder what guns will be out this season. If the summer guns will be lighter than the winter guns. If the newest guns will come in an extra long. But the boy's statement got me to thinking.

Why do there need to be new guns? What's wrong with the old guns? Is the kid letting us all know that last season's gun just won't do? Will he be embarrassed to go hunting or mass-murdering with an out-of-style weapon?

Is there an advantage to purchasing this new gun? Was there an ad in that magazine touting the new gun's advantages?
  • New! Shoot more with just one pull of the trigger!
  • This ain't your grandpa's little girly weapon!
  • Automatically fires at dark-skinned men!
  • Don't just be bitter and attend church . . .take your new friend with you!
  • Angry at your boss? Have a dislike for school children? Local prostitutes laughing at you behind your back? You'll be glad to have this in your holster then!
Just knowing that there are new models (is that what they call 'em) of guns coming out all the time makes me feel a little bit queasy. Who the hell is reading that magazine and making plans for the future? Who's going to read that ad/article and think that's just what they need for their next shooting project.

I'll just stick to my arts and crafts magazines. I just hope there's no shoot-out the next time I need to go buy thread or something.

My thoughts and sympathies are already with the next victim. Unless they were in the midst of doing something really, really bad.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Saturday, no camera

I have such respect for all of those bloggers who entertain me with hysterical photos. Sorry, I can't do the same for you. In the future, I really must remember to take my camera with me wherever I go. Unfortunately, I do not have photos of:

Old man contemplating lawnmower. And contemplating. And contemplating. Could have been pretending to be a lawn ornament. Actually, a video would have been better. A time-lapse video may have shown some movement over time.

Portly boy wearing “You Can’t Afford Me” T-shirt. Nothing else need be said.

The "Talk to Yourself" chair in library. I swear I'm going to sit in it next time I visit and see what happens to me. So far, it's worked for three different people.

An escapee from a monastery (I’m assuming it was a costume). He was near my house as I was driving away. Did he ring my doorbell? Is he a replacement for the Jehovah's Witnesses? I think I scared them away by doing my summer housework in small clothing and answering the door all sweaty and panting.

Now, I'm heading out the door to my retail mecca. Target. I will try to remember my camera.