Time Machines, Aisle 6

I’ve got a new clock in my kitchen. Finally.

I found it after looking at all sorts of home décor mail order stores. I found one I really really really liked. Big! Bold! Two hundred dollars!!!

I then decided to have a look at the stunning home décor boutiques in my town (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA). I found a fine timepiece at Target. Where else?!? $4.99. Yes. That’s correct. $4.99. And its worth every single 499 pennies. It’s quite special.

Its not only a device for telling time. It is somewhat of a time machine. I’m used to the ticking of clocks telling me that my time on earth is running out and I’d better get my shit in gear and make something of myself. But this clock sends me back in time. It’s magic. But, it will only work for me. Not you. So don’t come into my house to steal my $4.99 Target clock. As I sat here on the computer, doing important things (surfing home décor websites), I realized that this clock sounded exactly like the clock my grandmother had in her kitchen.

Many evenings were spent at my grandmother’s house, sitting in the living room in my grandfather’s chair, watching Lassie or the Wonderful World of Disney and having a bowlful of non-nutritious snacks. The clock ticked away those pleasant moments. I often gazed at the clock with childhood apprehension, knowing that it was getting late and I would have to go to bed soon. But somehow, after getting past the dreaded toothbrushing (and seeing my grandmother’s teeth in a glass mere inches away), I would revel in the huge guest bed with those crisp, line-dried cotton sheets. All would be well. The crickets would sing me to bed. And in the morning, my grandfather would whip up some scrambled eggs. My grandmother would put some berries or apricots in Blue Willow bowls. A huge round of butter would be placed in the center of the table. Sunshine would spill in through the huge kitchen windows. And that clock would tick away the morning over the kitchen table.