Thursday, December 13, 2012
Yep -- postcard style photo cards.
No personal message.
No ho ho ho.
The condoms of Christmas cards.
I'm starting to wonder if latex gloves are worn on the senders' Christmas card assembly lines.
I feel dirty and nonfestive.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
When it rings, I ask, "Who's on The Damn Phone?' Or, "Who's calling on The Damn Phone this time of night?"
For the love of Pete, I detest The Damn Phone.
People call you up on it to talk you into doing things you don't want to do. Sometimes it's an out-of-towner wanting to drop off their child so they can get themselves a little afternoon delight. Or a solicitor wanting some money. Or gangs of solicitors wanting all of my money and then some. How about a little (or a lot) of volunteering. Or calls that begin with, "I hope you don't mind, but . . ."
And, of course, the worst. Someone has died.
This morning, I have a lot to do. A LOT TO DO. I've got to clean my house out for the renters, and what the hell, I just better get it done before my mother-in-law arrives on the 21st. That's a long way away you say? But I also have to pack and plan for the movers on the 18th. But I can't turn on the vacuum until people return calls that I made earlier this morning. I have important questions for the head of the school that my daughter will be attending in Charleston. I have to know if the plumber is going to replace my kitchen faucet so the renters don't get flooded out the first moment they need a glass of water.
I hate it when I get my info. together and dial out on The Damn Phone, only to discover I've got to sit by The Damn Phone and wait to actually talk to a real person. I usually make my husband dial out, but since he's on the road, I have to do it.
So that's it. Just a little bit of bitching. But inside I'm seething. I have important shit to do. And I better not find out that these folks I'm waiting on are just standing next to the coffee maker waiting to get themselves a cup. Maybe they are just avoiding The Damn Phone.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
If I am on your Christmas Card list, I'm delighted. Whether you are a friend, an acquaintance, or merely someone who has repaired my furnace or cleaned my teeth, it doesn't matter. I love a card. I like those cards to be cute, glittery, gorgeous, filled with confetti, festooned with ribbon, city stylized, kissing kousin kountry, red and green, blue and white, black and yellow, and decorated with Jesus, snowmen, zebras, angels, trees, RVs, balls, bells, and whistles.
I also will read your newsletter. If you care to send me the long form, I will happily read it because, chances are, I care. And I really like it when you tuck in a photo of your kids, your dogs or your vacation home. Especially the kid. If I like you, then I probably like your kid. I even want to know if they've made the honor roll or graduated from braces and headgear.
Just please, please, please don't send that one-sided, unsigned, undecorated photo of your dog, kid, or vacation home that poses as a complete holiday card. And when you print out the envelope on your computer and your housekeeper then stuffs all of the envelopes, I'm going to want to tell you to stuff it. Hell, I even get a little calendar from the dude at the local used car lot and my local realtor (I haven't purchased a house here in 15 years). Put a bit of ink on the damn thing or don't send it. I'd rather you send me a picture on facebook of your middle finger. At least that's personal.
and so on
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
I guess one could say I'm temporarily away.
I've been artmaking and housewifeing.
I've been preparing for (and hiding from) some life-changing events.
My dad has been ill for quite a while and is now in and out of nursing homes and hospitals. Hopefully he can recover enough to move on to an assisted living facility. I'm thinking his attitude is not positive lately. I'm not sure how I would feel if I were 85 and had lost my spouse of 60 years and my home of 50 years.
As for homes, when my husband and I moved to State College, PA, 15 years ago, he planted a (mental) flag and declared we would retire and die here. As I said in my title, "everything's temporary." Announcements to come later.
Hopefully, I will soon post regularly again. I just have to get back in touch with my old, sarcastic, inner self. That part of me has been worn down to a nub. I must nurture it back to life.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
|Master Chef "Hosts"|
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The Gummy Bacon is actually strawberry flavored. The Roast Beef gum is roast beef flavored. I'm not sure about those gumballs.
The hubby spotted this display while in California. He sent a photo of the gummy bacon and my daughter strongly encouraged him to buy her some.
Check it out through the "Bacon Viewing Window." Bacon sells. We LOVE pork fat products here. And if we're not eating pork fat, we are eating things that look like it.
Strangely, this candy is made in China. Now we know what the Chinese think of us. They just want our cholesterol levels to go through the ceiling and for us to fall dead on our faces and they will take over. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!!
Monday, April 30, 2012
|In the freezer case at your local Sam's|
While stopped at a traffic light on our main street of crappity crap, I hear the tell-tale clanging of a flag breezily flapping on a flagpole. Sure enough, I spot it over the trees. Which business has this flag on their property? McDonald's, of course. Hmmmm, I wonder what other businesses fly the United States flag. The only other one I see on this street is at the Waffle House.
Is eating crap food patriotic?!? I'm thinking so.
My hubby and kid went to Sam's the other day to get our bi-monthly bulk items. He told me they had seen something frightening and had a photo to show me. Mmmmmmmmm. Breakfast of (non)champions on a stick. I guess this makes it far easier to eat while watching those morning programs.
No, there is no flag on the box (that I can see) but it is red, white and blue enough for me. And the brown of artificially colored gray matter that comprises those sausages and pancakes.
Salute the box, fire up the microwave, and settle in for an hour or two of fine dining and Fox news.
I'm thinking this is not what they are eating in Paris.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
And we're expecting snow. And nobody of any consequence is running against Bob "I'm doing what the Bishop wants me to do" Casey.
I'm expected a handful of elderly and some hopeful students.
And I have to inform the folks that, come November, if they don't have a photo ID they aren't going to be able to vote. Yep. All of those students who wish to cast multiple votes -- can't do it. Those voter-fraud-happy-hat-wearing old men better be able to cough up the proper identification. And as the first volunteer in line to help our voters, I'm going to get an earful.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
It seems that, lately, we are all promoting ourselves to “constitutional lawyer.” We all claim to know exactly what our founding fathers meant when penning the Constitution. The vast majority of who are weighing in on the U.S. Constitution have no formal education or training to do so. But this seems to be stopping nobody.
So, now I’m hopping on the “I’m a constitutional lawyer” bandwagon. Let’s discuss that Freedom of Religion thing. Why? It’s just a little bitty bit of the first amendment to the U. S. Constitution. A mere 16 words applying to religion in this country. Want to see it? Here it goes:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
I don’t see that it has anything to do with contraception, the good (or not-so-good) folks working down there at the Blue Shield offices, or requiring a European Catholic man to lead our wayward statesmen.
Seems to temporarily-self-appointed-constitutional-lawyer me, that the first amendment states that the government cannot pick one church to rule us all. In law speak that’s the “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion” part. The second part, “or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” seems to say that if you want to pick a religion to believe in or if you want to just stay home and say your evening prayers you’re welcome to do so.
But it seems as if the Catholic Church has done a bit of over-interpretation.
If we’re all going to be forced to fall in with the Catholic Church, then why the hell did our ancestors come to this country in the first place? Are we going to let all of that hard work (of our ancestors) disintegrate under the iron hand of the Catholic Church?
After centuries of fear of control by other countries, are we now going to let the Pope dictate how our country is run? We are letting a man who is not a citizen of this country rule approximately 68 million of our people. This man is not our elected leader. Do these 68 million Americans think the Pope is a congressman living in a suburb outside of Detroit?
THE LAND OF THE FREE is being eaten by a “holy” man in a ridiculous hat.
Ladies and Gentlemen, no one in this country has the right to tell you not to use contraception. NO ONE. No group, entity, faction, denomination, flock or cluster has the right to tell you not to use contraception.
I’ve been a regular voter for 30 years. Not once have I seen the Pope on any ballot. Never. Nor has anyone else in the country. But way too many of us are voting for him one way or another. Are these people forgetting that their ancestors came to this country to enjoy individual liberty? And now they are going to sign over these liberties and those of their offspring to the Pope?
Freedom of religion means that an individual can believe in God, Jesus Christ, trees, mother nature, aliens, and themselves. Or not. If an individual wants to dedicate his or her life to a church, fine. If they do not wish to use birth control, I will not attempt to take away their freedom to procreate until their eyes bleed, or to abstain until their eyes bleed even more. However, I will NOT stand to have them group together in the millions (or more if we include the rest of the world) and get their business up in my bedroom or my uterus.
The Catholic Church does not have the right to control my reproductive parts. The Catholic Church does not have the right to control the reproductive parts of its members. If the members of the Catholic Church choose to be sheep then I cannot stop them. I do, however, refuse to become part of that flock. I will not be governed by them.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
I wish all women in this country were in agreement about women having the right of control over their own reproductive systems. Some women agree with those whipping up those “personhood” bills. Many women agree with Rick Santorum and his wish to abolish birth control. Frankly, one woman agreeing with Rick Santorum is one too many.
Our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers have fought for women’s right to vote. The fight was too frequently violent. More recently, women have fought for equal rights, equal pay, and reproductive rights. Are women in this country going to give up these hard-fought rights willingly? Are they going to initiate the overturn of rights already won?
As women, we may oppose birth control. We may oppose abortion. We may oppose equal rights. Parents may wish to teach their children to abstain from sex before marriage.
Do we want to teach our daughters that they have little control over their lives? Do we want legislation that will abolish their decision-making. When they decide to reject pre-marital sex or birth control methods, do we want them to do so because they are forced or because they came to these decisions on their own?
My daughter is certainly going to be able to walk into her employer’s office and say, “It’s fine to pay me less than a man for the same job.” She can also tell a boy or man, “I’m waiting until marriage for sex and I won’t have sex unless it is to have a baby.” She may tell me, “Mom, I don’t want to vote because I just don’t think a woman is capable of making such decisions.” She will be perfectly capable of uttering, “I don’t believe homosexuals should have equal rights.” My husband and I will do our best to educate our child to function in the world as a well-rounded individual. Sure, we will bias her in some way or another. That’s what most parents do. But one thing I WILL NOT do, is take away her rights in order for her to comply to my way of thinking.
Women, mothers, fathers, men, uncles, sons, daughters, grandmothers, when you go to the polls, vote for those who will work to enable all of our citizens in this country to flourish while living peacefully among others in their communities. Do not vote for those who seek to divide us into groups. Do not vote for hate, fear and oppression. Do not vote away your rights and the rights of others.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Looks like President Obama has poked the conservative bear. And you know what happens when you poke a bear. They tend to maul you without asking why you were poking them in the first place.
The religion/birth control war seems to be on. The Catholic leaders have got their skirts in a bunch and Midge McConnell is once again doing his impersonation of a pearl-clutching old woman. “Say,” the conservatives screech, “Let’s do whatever we can to take down Obama, even if that means screwing over millions upon millions of women and girls.
Not only does the Catholic Church want to exempt itself from participating in women’s preventive health care, they want control over the women themselves. I can’t accuse the Catholic Church of kidnapping women and making them join the faith against their will. But I can accuse them of misleading their followers. But that is another loooonnnnnnnnnggg story, and I’m here to bitch about the birth control thing and the control of men over the whole damn world. A simple and brief topic, right? Here’s some semi-random thoughts:
A. The Catholic Church in the United States wants freedom of religion. Yet, this “freedom” removes freedoms from their members. The members are to follow the Church’s teachings. This greatly inhibits the members from thinking for themselves. And who runs this church? Google it. Look at the list of male bishops.
B. The human species has not yet evolved to the point that we no longer need organized religion. Most of us seem to want guidance and instruction. Yet, somehow, too many of us have chosen to have our guidance and instruction created and distributed by men. Yes, ladies, while you were huddled down by the river washing clothes and chasing babies and children, the men starting making rules and we’ve stuck by these rules until very recently.
C. Most of the murder and rape in the world is committed by men. I’m willing to bet, without looking up the statistics, that most of the domestic violence in this country is committed by men. Yes, I know in a bar fight, I’m likely to lose to a man, but to go beyond this physical inequality to across-the-board inequality through archaic laws and religious oppression is detrimental to every individual in this country (even men). Yes, I'll let you open the door for me, but I'm NOT going be forced to gestate the offspring from a rapist.
D. Believe it or not, the same man who thinks you need to accept your broken gift from God if you are raped and get pregnant, could possibly be the next president. And furthermore, according to the ever-persistent Santorum, you better not do a damn thing to prevent that pregnancy. So ladies, if you’re walking home from work one evening, you better just be prepared to be raped and give birth. Frankly, you better not be walking by yourself. You know, the more Santorum thinks about it, you best not be out without an escort and a burqa. And what are you doing working outside the home, anyway?
Until recently, I have not been one to promote discrimination. But I’m going to become more discriminating on whom I vote for. Will I in the future base my vote on a candidate’s religion? As my daughter’s Magic 8 Ball states: Outlook good. I will not knowingly support a person or organization that encourages or merely tolerations the oppression of women.
I voted for Senator Casey in Pennsylvania. Now, when it’s time to stand up for the women of the state of Pennsylvania, he turns tail and hides behinds the skirts of his bishop. Shame on you Senator Casey. Shame on any man in this country (and yes, the world, but that’s another post) who is unable to stand up for the rights of over 50% of the citizens of this country.
Oh, and by the way, thank you to the men who are standing up for the women in this country.
Friday, February 10, 2012
In the past, you have earned my vote for Senator. My belief in the government of the United States is that the people, the citizens, vote for the candidates. We vote on your positions on economic development, social services, etc. The bottom line is, this is a bottom-up government. There are no dictators. There are no kings. The people – those at the bottom, vote to put people in office.
I did not vote for your bishop in Scranton. I don’t believe that he is the king of Pennsylvania. Therefore, I am disappointed to see that he is dictating your position on the new ruling that religious schools and hospitals must provide health insurance for birth control to their employers.
This ruling would allow employers to receive birth control. It gives them an option. No one is being forced to use free birth control. No one is being forced to alter their religious beliefs. If an individual does not believe in birth control he/she does not have to purchase or use it. If a teacher, administrator, nurse, orderly, or janitor at any of these religion-based facilities wants to receive preventive birth control as part of their personal health needs, it is absurd to deny them access if they are unable to afford it.
This is not an abortion debate. This is a health debate. This is also a health debate that concerns mostly women. I am a woman. I am a resident of Pennsylvania. I am a citizen of the United States. I was lead to believe that my vote counts. The leaders of any church in this state or this country should not have a greater say than an individual. They have the right to vote the same as I do, not to dictate. Your job is to represent your constituents, not your bishop.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Do not touch me with anything cold this month. Don't make any plans that make me leave the house. Somebody better shovel that damn sidewalk. Do not leave any belongings unattended-- they will be thrown away. February is go to bed early month -- get used to it. Somebody needs to buy me books.