tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71396171803299943212024-02-19T06:42:33.526-08:00Who You Callin' Housewife?Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.comBlogger158125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-61209073215025336412018-09-25T07:18:00.002-07:002018-09-25T07:18:56.100-07:00Yet Another Hashtag Me TooMy memory is pretty good. The story is 42 years old. It could possibly be only 41 years old. The reason I believe it is 42 is that I remember the hallway I ran to. It was empty . . .<br />
<br />
. . . My junior high school had gone under renovation when I was 14 and in 9th grade, and that hallway was busy that year. So, I'm 99 percent sure that I was 13. And in 8th grade.<br />
<br />
I'm just going to mention the name Judge Brett Kavanaugh once. Only to say this has nothing to do with him. His name won't be mentioned again. No one's name will be mentioned. <br />
<br />
Our school started co-ed gym that year. Boys on one side of the gym with their coaches, girls on the other with their coaches. And us girls wore those sexy blue gym suits. Ha. Parts of me looked 13, I think. My face, my gangly legs. Some parts between the face and legs did not. They were frequently commented on by school boys, construction workers, and the junior high school boy's gym teacher and football coach.<br />
<br />
Women and girls of that time often say that they are used to sexual and sexist comments. In truth, we're not. So when he asked me to help move some balls back into the equipment room, I expected a comment or two. What I didn't expect was to have him come in behind me when I was in the back of the room, close the door and turn off the lights. I didn't expect him to come within inches of me, laugh the laugh I heard after every sexual comment in the past, and ask me what I would do if he kissed me. He could have asked what I would have done if he touched me. See, my testimony would have been dismissed in court because I cannot remember if he said 'kissed' or touched.' Both seem very inappropriate to me.<br />
<br />
The question shocked me. Being in the dark with him and smelling his sweat just inches from my nose shocked me. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears. I wanted to cry. I wanted to disappear. I wondered if I let him touch me would he leave me alone after that. Could I just walk out? I could see though the crack in the door that I was trapped--wedged in between gym equipment. As every part of my body quivered, I told him I would scream as loudly as I could. I might have told him I would kick him, too. He laughed that nasty laugh again, muttered something about not mentioning what happened to anyone -- perhaps saying that he was joking. Then he opened the door and said goodbye. <br />
<br />
I went out into the side hallway. I walked one way for a few steps then turned and walked the other way. Part of me wanted to walk back in and confront him in front of the next class. Part of me wanted to go to the head of the school. Part of me wanted to cry. Part of me wanted to tell all of my friends (and strangers). The part of me that won out was the part that wanted me to be quiet and forget it. I had another class to go to.<br />
<br />
How could I ever face this man again?<br />
<br />
I had to face him daily for the next year and a half.<br />
<br />
I was 13. I was terrified of a teacher. I was terrified I was a bad person for not telling. I was ashamed.<br />
<br />
This man died several years ago. In the newspaper and on Facebook he was eulogized in the most glowing ways. By men and women. By boys and girls. Was there anyone out there like me that was feeling sick and disgusted when reading about his life? Did he only do that to me?<br />
<br />
Would I ever tell anyone? <br />
<br />
What if he had run for public office?<br />
<br />
What if he were ever nominated for the Supreme Court?<br />
<br />
<br />Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-80094085025139082482017-01-18T12:14:00.000-08:002017-01-18T12:14:08.180-08:00Let's Look at this Trump Presidency in a Different Way<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I understand that this whole Trump as
President thing seems huge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Really, really yuuuuuuge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Perhaps to get some folks to understand why there is so much opposition to
Donald Trump, we need to reframe this whole picture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need a smaller frame.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Let’s make it a local school district
and Trump is the Superintendent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is a school superintendent?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here’s what I found on the blog of Anne Martens, the former Marketing
& Communications Director for Stand for Children Washington:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
superintendent is the top executive ("CEO") in the school district.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
superintendent implements the school board’s vision by making day-to-day
decisions about educational programs, spending, staff, and facilities. The
superintendent hires, supervises, and manages the central staff and
principals. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Superintendents
must work with school leaders -- principals -- to serve the needs of students
and meet the district goals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: .5in; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
superintendent must also respond to the demands of all the other constituencies
and interest groups in the district: teachers, students, parents, staff,
advocates, and the community at large. She or he must consider how to use the
financial and human resources of the district in order to achieve the best
results. While being mindful of competing demands, a great superintendent will
be guided by what is best for all students.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That’s pretty much what we expect
from the President of the United States, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, say we have some disgruntled constituents
of a particular school district.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They think their taxes are too high and being used for quiche and
arugula in the school cafeteria, art classes, drama clubs, and other
non-necessities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t think
they should pay for school nurses and gym equipment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’ve had enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They’re putting their feet down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are going to vote out the school board and get a new school
district superintendent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Most folks are sure that a certain female
superintendent will be elected, so many don’t vote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, the school district has been gerrymandered to
represent only certain views on education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A new, and surprising, leader is coming to the fore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While campaigning, the disgruntled
residents of the school district learn that this man does not want “undesirables’
to move into his district and attend his schools. He incites violence against
them during campaign meetings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
promises to build a wall around the school and have another school district pay
for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His followers chant, “build
the wall.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also has been
overheard talking about grabbing the genitals of female students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once he stated he could shoot a kid in
the middle of the school cafeteria and he would still be elected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He makes fun of the special-ed teacher
and her students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He comments on
the size of his genitals while speaking during a school assembly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sure enough, this man becomes school
superintendent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He vows to remove mulch and rubber
padding on the playgrounds and pave all play areas with asphalt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The schools’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>boilers are all old and belch out toxic fumes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of the schools’ windows open so
the rooms get hotter and hotter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Crayons melt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of the
school pets die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t feel
there is a problem, even though the equipment can be fixed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bullying has been encouraged, and the
school counselors have been fired so the children have no one to help
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He appoints school
principals that are racists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Female students are rated on a scale of 1-10 and are ignored if they
report they are groped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The new
superintendent might even sue these girls over their complaints.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Subsidized tampon dispensers are
removed from all girls’ restrooms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The school nurse has been fired.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He praises the leader of Russian schools even though he is known for
horrible human rights abuses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Would you want this man as leader of
your child’s school?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Then why would you want him as leader
of your country?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-64598931564122781022016-12-22T07:44:00.000-08:002016-12-22T07:44:14.771-08:00Nine Little Words<div class="MsoNormal">
Build A Wall</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lock Her Up</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Drain the Swamp</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nine little words brayed repeatedly by the President-Elect
while campaigning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nine little
words chanted by the Trump disciples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Over and over and over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What do these nine little words have in common?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other than they are monosyllabic (short,
easy) words?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any guesses?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are meaningless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All meaningless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m pretty much glad that six of those words have no
meaning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Build a wall – useless and
expensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lock her up – imagine the
resources that would take.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also
useless and expensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drain the
swamp – Trump is busy filling the swamp.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Perhaps he meant to drain the brackish water from the swamp so we could
clearly see the mass of writhing reptiles.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These nine little words swarmed around the heads of the
Trump disciples like torpid mosquitoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Somewhat bothersome, but not worth the effort to swat away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually energizing to many. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often invigorating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easy to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fun to chant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I’ll
vote for that,” many said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Trump
rallies are fun,” they stated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“We’ll
put Trump in the White House with these fine ideas,” they swore.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nine little words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Three massive wishes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These
three wishes will never be granted by the Trump genie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What now, Trump supporters?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With the tarnishing brass lamp lying at
your feet, useless, what will you do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gloat?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seems to still be
happening by the viral videos I see of shouting Trump voters?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sneer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sneering at Liberals is all-consuming fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ongoing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those are three more little words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gloat, sneer, hate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Actually, not so little.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is left for us all now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Watching the rapid dismantling of our country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Removal of health care for those who
could lose everything with one major illness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gutting of free education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Removal of any regulations that could keep your water safe
and your air clean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would any
of these things be beneficial to our country?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did any Trump voters actually stop to think about this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do any research?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about the future of their
children and grandchildren?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
No thinking involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just chanting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
repetition of those nine little words.</div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-72217626880447630052015-12-07T05:59:00.000-08:002015-12-07T05:59:32.988-08:00Annual Christmas Card Bitching Post<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">The first Christmas Card arrived over the weekend from a former student of my husband. Three photos on a card. Children. Lovely girls. No personal greeting. No signature. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">Why the hell bother. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">so . . .</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;"><span style="line-height: 20.7969px;">Again. Word for word, is last years post.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">If I am on your Christmas Card list, I'm delighted. Whether you are a friend, an acquaintance, or merely someone who has repaired my furnace or cleaned my teeth, it doesn't matter. I love a card. I like those cards to be cute, glittery, gorgeous, filled with confetti, festooned with ribbon, city stylized, kissing kousin kountry, red and green, blue and white, black and yellow, and decorated with Jesus, snowmen, zebras, angels, trees, RVs, balls, bells, and whistles.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">I also will read your newsletter. If you care to send me the long form, I will happily read it because, chances are, I care. And I really like it when you tuck in a photo of your kids, your dogs or your vacation home. Especially the kid. If I like you, then I probably like your kid. I even want to know if they've made the honor roll or graduated from braces and headgear.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">Just please, please, please don't send that one-sided, unsigned, undecorated photo of your dog, kid, or vacation home that poses as a complete holiday card. And when you print out the envelope on your computer and your housekeeper then stuffs all of the envelopes, I'm going to want to tell you to stuff it. Put a bit of ink on the damn thing or don't send it. I'd rather you send me a picture on facebook of your middle finger. At least that's personal.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">Happy Holidays</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">Merry Christmas</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">Happy Kwanzaa</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">Happy Chanukah</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.7969px;">and so on</span>Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-73735156014859248632015-09-17T07:37:00.003-07:002015-09-17T17:12:17.082-07:00Rides of the Republican Candidates Revisited<div class="MsoNormal">
Once again, I did some Republican debate watching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wine involved of, course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt I had to do just a bit of
tweaking to my original Rides of the Republican candidates post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> What mode of transporation would your favorite candidate use:</span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
Once again:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chris Christie – Tony Soprano’s last trade-in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unpleasant air freshener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trunkful of unmatched DNA.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Marco Rubio – Luxurious, somewhat understated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seatbelt, rear view mirror and sideview
mirrors well-used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bluetooth
enabled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small posse in backseat
Googling statistics to be distorted for future use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pleasing air freshener.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oral hygiene kits from flying first class in glove
compartment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dr. Ben Carson – Also luxurious and understated. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amazing shock absorbers but restrictive
speedometer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lacking GPS, yet pointed
in the direction of home for a good brandy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Walter Scott, uh, Tim Scott, um, Scott Walker (can never
remember his name) – Non-union-built golf cart with steering disabled, heading
for a water trap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cart decorated
with photographs of aborted fetuses.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Donald Trump – Atop a rocket launcher or loose cannon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Backs of poor people or Mexicans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh hell, he’ll ride anything to get to
the top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Except Carly Fiorina.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jeb Bush – Same as George W. only a newer model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small Mexican flag hidden in glove
compartent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike Huckabee – Empty refrigerator box in back yard,
decorated as a time machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Four
drawn-on control buttons inside box dated 29c, 1450s, 1633,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>last Sunday 9:00 am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I wasn’t going to mention those from
the ‘other’ debate, but Rick Santorum and Huckabee are having a little-girl
hair pulling fight to see who’s turn it is in the box.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ted Cruz – giant lizard Dewback thing from Star Wars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saddle bags full of rocks, a couple of
ninja throwing stars,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and a leather
pouch containing a guide to correct middle eastern pronunciations, an asshole
license and Canadian registration.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rand Paul – Black horse in full jousting gear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Worried that horse is more interested
in grazing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
John Kasich – Late model Oldsmobile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those stick-figure family thingies on
rear window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Glove compartment
containing tattered maps, ill-fitting driving gloves, partially used bottle of
Old Spice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remnants of ‘coexist’
and rainbow flag bumper stickers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Carly Fiorina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Something sleek and blue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Burns a great deal of fossil fuels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has fins.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I just have to add one other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t help it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even though he’s moved on to better things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will be sorely missed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rick Perry – Clampet family truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time it hits a pothole, shit falls off – pots, pans,
granny, luggage, lamps, rakes, and now Rick Perry himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Glove compartment filled with
dark-rimmed glasses and upside down maps.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to admit I only watched 40 minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next time, I will persevere.</div>
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Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-384495792316534502015-08-07T06:19:00.001-07:002015-09-17T17:12:31.847-07:00Rides of the Republican Candidates <div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, there was enough wine in the house to take me to the
10:30 mark of the (main) debate last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bed was calling and I knew what the answers would be and I just couldn’t
yell anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But once in bed,
when I tried to imagine the country with one of them as a leader, I found it
helped to imagine what kind of vehicle they would drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I don’t sleep well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chris Christie – Tony Soprano’s last trade-in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trunkful of unmatched DNA.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Marco Rubio – Luxurious, somewhat understated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seatbelt, rear view mirror and side view
mirrors well-used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bluetooth
enabled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small posse in backseat
Googling statistics to be distorted for future use. Pleasing air freshener.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dr. Ben Carson – Also luxurious and understated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pointed in the direction of home for a
good brandy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Walter Scott, uh, Tim Scott, um, Scott Walker (can never
remember his name) – golf cart with steering disabled, heading for a water
trap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cart decorated with photographs
of aborted fetuses.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Donald Trump – Atop a rocket launcher or loose cannon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Backs of poor people or Mexicans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh hell, he’ll ride anything to get to
the top.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jeb Bush – Same as George W. only a newer model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small Mexican flag hidden in glove
compartment. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike Huckabee – Empty refrigerator box in back yard,
decorated as a time machine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Four drawn-on
control buttons inside box dated 29c, 1450s, 1633, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>last Sunday 9:00 am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(I wasn’t going to mention those from the ‘other’ debate, but Rick
Santorum and Huckabee are having a little-girl hair pulling fight to see who’s
turn it is in the box.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ted Cruz – giant lizard Dewback thing from Star Wars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saddle bags full of rocks, a couple of
ninja throwing stars and an asshole license and Canadian registration.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rand Paul – Black horse in full jousting gear.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
John Kasich – Late model Oldsmobile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those stick-figure family thingies on
rear window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Glove compartment
containing tattered maps, ill-fitting driving gloves, partially used bottle of
Old Spice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remnants of ‘coexist’
and rainbow flag bumper stickers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rides of the Moderators should be included:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Megyn Kelly – something small, red, fitted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Car prepared to eat slower cars in
front.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chris Wallace – Suburu Outback.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bret Baier – Oh. My. God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t see past the reflection off of the grill!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I just have to add one other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can’t help it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Rick Perry – Clampet family truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time it hits a pothole, shit falls off – pots, pans,
granny, luggage, lamps, women voters, rakes, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Glove compartment filled with dark-rimmed glasses and upside down maps.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now I have to catch up on the debate of those that didn't make the top ten. After I open the next bottle of wine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-62485888165562739762014-12-15T12:47:00.000-08:002014-12-15T12:47:17.203-08:00Annual Christmas Card Bitching Post<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Yes. I have posted this before. Many times. I shall not give up. As long as I have a glimmer of hope, there is a chance of my mailbox once again being filled with gorgeous, stunning, glittery, Christmas cards.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">My Christmas cards received list shortens each year through attrition. It will probably grow shorter if my best, dearest, and oldest friend reads this post. Because, yes, she has sent the unadorned, unsigned and unloved photo postcard.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">so . . .</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Again. Word for word, is last years post.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">If I am on your Christmas Card list, I'm delighted. Whether you are a friend, an acquaintance, or merely someone who has repaired my furnace or cleaned my teeth, it doesn't matter. I love a card. I like those cards to be cute, glittery, gorgeous, filled with confetti, festooned with ribbon, city stylized, kissing kousin kountry, red and green, blue and white, black and yellow, and decorated with Jesus, snowmen, zebras, angels, trees, RVs, balls, bells, and whistles.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">I also will read your newsletter. If you care to send me the long form, I will happily read it because, chances are, I care. And I really like it when you tuck in a photo of your kids, your dogs or your vacation home. Especially the kid. If I like you, then I probably like your kid. I even want to know if they've made the honor roll or graduated from braces and headgear.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Just please, please, please don't send that one-sided, unsigned, undecorated photo of your dog, kid, or vacation home that poses as a complete holiday card. And when you print out the envelope on your computer and your housekeeper then stuffs all of the envelopes, I'm going to want to tell you to stuff it. Put a bit of ink on the damn thing or don't send it. I'd rather you send me a picture on facebook of your middle finger. At least that's personal.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Happy Holidays</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Merry Christmas</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Happy Kwanzaa</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Happy Chanukah</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">and so on</span>Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-57880393131365143642014-10-31T06:59:00.000-07:002014-10-31T07:12:45.638-07:00Separation of Church and Halloween<div class="MsoNormal">
The church is killing the community. Sounds wrong, doesn’t
it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve been told that the
church is all about community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Somehow, though, it has replaced the real community with a faux
community conjured up from a homogeneous group brought together in a vast
cinderblock bunker with a steeple on top and a 20-acre parking lot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My daughter is going trick-or-treating tonight with a
friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sounds easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Took a lot of work to get to that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live in an area with poor public
schools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most everyone goes to
private school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My daughter knows
almost no children in her neighborhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess you can say that private schools are killing the community, but
that is for another post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So back
in early September, I set up a trick-or-treating date with my daughter’s best
friend who lives 40 minutes away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I communicated back and forth with the mom about Halloween plans and the
sleepover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All seemed well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until Monday, when I was informed that
the girl couldn’t come because she had to volunteer at the “Fall Festival” at
her church.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fall
Festival.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not Halloween.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not trick-or-treating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would anyone want their kids
roaming their neighborhoods in costumes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seeing their neighbors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Carving scary jack o’lanterns. The church feels a need to put an end to
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps Satan has been found
residing in Smarties and mini Twix bars.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And if the “Fall Festival” replacement is annoying, could it
be worse than Trunk-or-Treat?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Skittish parents drive into their church parking lot and back their cars
into a circular formation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They fill their trunks with candy, pop the door open and the kids,
unaware there is a real world out there, circulate among the trunks and fill
their bags with candy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trunks are
not for kids and candy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are for
luggage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bald tires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Low-level mobsters bound for the East
River.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sigh.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a few hours, my daughter and another friend will roam the
streets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will get to see
neighbors they know and meet new ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My daughter will enlarge her community each time she rings a doorbell
and says “trick or treat.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will
go with them on the more unfamiliar streets and I, too, will enlarge my
community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I get to look into
other people’s houses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love
that!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m so looking forward to seeing the little, happy
kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the bigger happy kids. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hopefully not the really, really big
kids, but I guess that’s ok as long as they are polite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve heard that we should expect around
150 kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone will be out in
this neighborhood – the children of the elite that live in $10,000,000 houses,
college students, and the kids that live in public housing 3 blocks away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My community will grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it will only cost me 300 pieces of
chocolate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I can leave my car
parked in the drive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Come on and ring my doorbell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ain’t nobody going to hell.</div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-73279883265159066202014-07-01T14:26:00.003-07:002014-07-01T14:26:50.309-07:00Back to the Future. With SCOTUS.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
amazing side effect about the SCOTUS Hobby Lobby ruling is that it has made
every individual (hurry, while there are still individuals in this country) a
constitutional lawyer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least
for the next day or so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
bandwagon is lurching down my street and, by golly, I’m jumping on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But
first, I had to check into the United States Consitution and its posse of
amendments known as the Bill of Rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And right away, I can plainly see that the first amendment has been
tinkered with until it pretty much says the opposite today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Congress
shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the
free exercise thereof</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">. – First Amendment of the Bill of Rights (1791)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">The
individuals that run a corporation of 13,00 employees (formerly individuals) is
now prohibiting the free exercise of religion of these employees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Individual religious practice has been
incorporated by the Hobby Lobby CEO. </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">A
“victory” for the free exercise of religion now means the ability of an individual,
group, or corporation to assimilate the rights of other individuals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (</span>2014)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I originally thought
that the rights laid out in all of those old, dusty documents just applied to
white, male citizens. But now I can see that, at least for Hobby Lobby, women
of all color and position are included.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They believe what the CEO believes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are all one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All for one and one for one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Perhaps every female
Hobby Lobby employee willingly hands over her ovaries at the Hobby Lobby
door each morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she desires, she can
check them back out at night, but must relinquish them again the next morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that’s what each individual agrees
to, fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Somehow I doubt every female employee agrees wholeheartedly. </span>But what if the CEOs of
Hobby Lobby change their mind?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Tomorrow they have another issue? </span>Suppose they whip up an amendment to the Hobby Lobby Constitution?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would all 13,000 employees
be required to adhere to the new rules?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes, according to SCOTUS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">On our way back to the
dark ages, why don’t we just stop at 1791?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-33029738921039919002014-06-26T08:16:00.000-07:002014-06-30T13:04:01.989-07:00Dead Man's Daughter Talking<div class="MsoNormal">
What??!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are we really going to take 15-year-old Bindi Irwin to the
gallows because she has an opinion on how her peers are dressing?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Did Miss Irwin suggest that women wear a burqa?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has she written a slut-shaming
blog?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has she been quoted that
women and girls should keep their opinions to themselves and only speak when
spoken to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, people seem to be telling Bindi Irwin that she
should shut up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s being told
that her young opinion does not matter, or is even bad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine in this day and age, a
15-year-old girl is told to keep her opinions to herself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my (much older) opinion, I think this might just be a
little worse than a girl suggesting that other girls her age cover their asses.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was Bindi’s age, I spent far too much time in my room
reading beauty and style magazines aimed at teenage girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These periodicals were filled with
articles about how to make my eyes up to look dangerously sexy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How to wear a bra to everyone else’s
pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How to walk in
high heels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How to appear
confident and coy at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How to say things to please my boyfriend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m thinking these magazines still exist today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure the editors are still at work
getting young girls to dress and act in a way that Bindi Irwin might not like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bindi and Bindi-like girls don’t have
to take that advice nor do non-Bindi-like girls need to take Bindi’s advice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do think that women and girls should dress how they
want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It might not always work for
them, however.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Job interview?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dress how you want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might not get that job, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A young man showing eight inches of
underwear probably won’t get that job either.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also think that young women should be able to express themselves
through actions and words and not just their clothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bindi Irwin has done that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s not throwing stones at homosexuals
or women whose ankles are exposed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She’s not donning a white sheet and burning crosses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s not advocating revoking women’s
right to vote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had an
opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She voiced it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you disagree, fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wear what you want and don’t have Bindi
for a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure she would
give this advice to a friend and would listen to a friend who had fashion
advice for her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She doesn’t have
to act on it and neither do you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
It is far more important to help a young girl express her
opinions in this world than to shut her down because once a girl has been
silenced, it is unlikely she will share her opinion again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This future silenced opinion could be
far more vital than fashion advice.</div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-76413146243762116892013-12-18T06:59:00.000-08:002013-12-18T06:59:27.179-08:00What Color is Your Easter Bunny?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmvRMARAudNRtkdT9rmcOaaV4j8vP_2_Ivxaay69RtKlcT7LPhiF4BDfMSzrF8fWkb-qCGQZPhY7qIMN9VZwNuoVle5GC6lTlNFU9w818FOADVhTNsSJR7olhp_PrkK0MmqTduDZhCqDpa/s1600/image_easter004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmvRMARAudNRtkdT9rmcOaaV4j8vP_2_Ivxaay69RtKlcT7LPhiF4BDfMSzrF8fWkb-qCGQZPhY7qIMN9VZwNuoVle5GC6lTlNFU9w818FOADVhTNsSJR7olhp_PrkK0MmqTduDZhCqDpa/s320/image_easter004.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aww, how cute! And she's gray!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My Easter Bunny is brown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m thinking perhaps a light brown hare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strong and wirey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Able to truck lots of chocolate eggs about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not sure what color Megyn Kelly’s is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quite possibly white.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Angora.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because isn’t that really what all bunnies look like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All bunnies are just white. And super fluffy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think Easter Bunnies come in all colors and it has little
to do with the color of the Peep and Jelly Bean recipient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are gray bunnies, tan bunnies,
black and white spotted bunnies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bunnies whose ears go up and bunnies whose ears go down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m so glad that Easter Bunnies come in different
colors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aren’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How bland would this world be if all
bunnies were the same color?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, what about the Tooth Fairy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine is Caucasian, I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her hair is dark
brown with a bit of gray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is
not Disney Princess young and gorgeous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She is not wizened and old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Actually, I think she looks a lot like me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
What color is your Tooth Fairy?</div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-68993310950155749562013-12-12T07:43:00.000-08:002013-12-12T07:43:02.892-08:00Five Pound Box of BulletsHo Ho Ho from the Lowcountry.<br />
<br />
Here's what hangs on trees in Nikki Haley's state:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nDUndvnz2hSfKW7UeTRp3EUFsE6xSiAyIUXxMIDjTCrlAh7YJzZw6YQb8J6hXK5vKDGiMFJuVgGsqDFdSPG3HLD5gJJCsSWlj586KVHHpYL6mmZF63uaQsPTi9LIZvS1dFW1-SXwjmjh/s1600/IMG_0673.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nDUndvnz2hSfKW7UeTRp3EUFsE6xSiAyIUXxMIDjTCrlAh7YJzZw6YQb8J6hXK5vKDGiMFJuVgGsqDFdSPG3HLD5gJJCsSWlj586KVHHpYL6mmZF63uaQsPTi9LIZvS1dFW1-SXwjmjh/s320/IMG_0673.JPG" width="197" /></a></div>
<br />
Yes, if a real gun isn't enough, we can hang an armed glass duck made in China.<br />
<br />
<br />
And if you require more festive shooting accessories, just string these lights all about the house.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZENp9PHhfX7Ceu5ibx-HtwdPEtsNL8UvIss_42QCqX5tXT0mSg4v5yG0tWH4ZTMEd-wtSWYKebnR6pqTkxwsvmmUzt2_B5oP8qHGpwCD6ywINb8FFyp90BgASgSXLUV1e4YINmhN9YC4Z/s1600/IMG_0674.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZENp9PHhfX7Ceu5ibx-HtwdPEtsNL8UvIss_42QCqX5tXT0mSg4v5yG0tWH4ZTMEd-wtSWYKebnR6pqTkxwsvmmUzt2_B5oP8qHGpwCD6ywINb8FFyp90BgASgSXLUV1e4YINmhN9YC4Z/s320/IMG_0674.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Ah, get the eggnog. Get out the stockings. Get your guns. It's Christmastime in Charleston. And that crackling sound you hear as you sit by the toasty yule log --- it might just be gunfire.<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-24414950712273205002013-12-09T06:46:00.000-08:002013-12-09T06:46:31.234-08:00Traditional Christmas Card Post<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 20.796875px;">Once again, my Christmas Card complaint (formerly a request)</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 20.796875px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 20.796875px;">I love gifts. A surprise in the mail makes my holiday. In lieu of that, a festive card is almost as good. I do love to know that I'm not alone in the world. </span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">If I am on your Christmas Card list, I'm delighted. Whether you are a friend, an acquaintance, or merely someone who has repaired my furnace or cleaned my teeth, it doesn't matter. I love a card. I like those cards to be cute, glittery, gorgeous, filled with confetti, festooned with ribbon, city stylized, kissing kousin kountry, red and green, blue and white, black and yellow, and decorated with Jesus, snowmen, zebras, angels, trees, RVs, balls, bells, and whistles.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">I also will read your newsletter. If you care to send me the long form, I will happily read it because, chances are, I care. And I really like it when you tuck in a photo of your kids, your dogs or your vacation home. Especially the kid. If I like you, then I probably like your kid. I even want to know if they've made the honor roll or graduated from braces and headgear.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Just please, please, please don't send that one-sided, unsigned, undecorated photo of your dog, kid, or vacation home that poses as a complete holiday card. And when you print out the envelope on your computer and your housekeeper then stuffs all of the envelopes, I'm going to want to tell you to stuff it. Put a bit of ink on the damn thing or don't send it. I'd rather you send me a picture on facebook of your middle finger. At least that's personal.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Happy Holidays</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Merry Christmas</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Happy Kwanzaa</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">Happy Chanukah</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.796875px;">and so on</span>Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-405524370404696742013-10-07T05:32:00.000-07:002013-10-07T05:33:36.536-07:00Desperate for a new television show<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiEuwdvObVn6ySuT05yYspVmN37ASCLOXQbiUMcMr4iSEJ-H3S4yWUn8JdK6QoqFkJTPb6SomBZKKRrefAca8m7QcGrEWZ0nwMoeFKQJRmo12FnvUEgcFaISoqm-_Okpd1Qz6JfWKDq7Vg/s1600/desperate_housewives_poster12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiEuwdvObVn6ySuT05yYspVmN37ASCLOXQbiUMcMr4iSEJ-H3S4yWUn8JdK6QoqFkJTPb6SomBZKKRrefAca8m7QcGrEWZ0nwMoeFKQJRmo12FnvUEgcFaISoqm-_Okpd1Qz6JfWKDq7Vg/s320/desperate_housewives_poster12.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I feel somewhat sad this morning.<br />
<br />
I finished watching the final episode of Desperate Housewives on Netflix last night.<br />
<br />
First of all, I am slow. That's ok. I don't need to be on trend or ahead of the curve.<br />
<br />
The housewives have kept me company for more than two years now. Once the hubby's travel picked up, his leaving town was not quite as bad when I had the housewives to keep me company after the young one went to bed at night. We all had wine together and I could yell at them when they were being ridiculous and happy when life worked out well for them. When things went south we could commiserate with another glass of wine and when there was joy and a celebration, we could celebrate with another glass of wine. And when Bree was on the wagon, I actually felt guilty for drinking in front of her.<br />
<br />
It took me a bit of time to find the right photo for this post. Most of the photos were way sexy glamour shots. While this was not uncommon on the show, most of the character were far more down to earth than "normal' folks on other television shows. Often, they appeared on screen in sweat pants. Sometimes they rocked them, other times not.<br />
<br />
Sure, each character was a bit bigger than life. Yet, I could relate to many of the situations on the show. Why? These characters were my age (or close). These women weren't just being shown as some awesome cool teenager's bitchy, clueless mom. Or some Wall Street executive's two-dimensional bitchy, clueless wife. Or a running menopause joke. Or a running PMS joke. From kids to kidneys, I could relate.<br />
<br />
Each trip for my husband was a poker game and a hit-and-run accident for me and my women buddies. If I ever wanted to say or do something hurtful and completely regrettable, I knew they would do it for me. When I wanted to move and hopefully improve my life, they moved with me. And now they're gone. Moved from Wisteria lane. I went through the deaths of their family members and I could turn to this show when I was hurting from the deaths of my parents.<br />
<br />
I didn't even know the end was coming. I never bothered to find out how many seasons there were. Those last 10 minutes of the final episode caught me by surprised. I found myself doing that backseat driver putting on the brakes movement. My right foot could find no traction, no brake. The screen went black and that was that. I couldn't stop it. Couldn't create a new season with my own desperation.<br />
<br />
So, I've been through season one of Ugly Betty. Good show, but it can't replace the housewives. I am on the lookout for a new show. It can't be a great show, because then my husband will want to watch, also. So I have to find something good, not much man appeal, not full of phony Kardashians, and loads of episodes. Any ideas?Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-5653300011167215472013-07-26T06:45:00.000-07:002013-07-26T06:45:28.328-07:00What were once Perverts are now Addicts<div class="MsoNormal">
Used to be, men that wanted to show their private parts to
ladies donned a trench coat and roamed the evening streets looking for victims.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A bit of pre-planning was done, no
doubt, to pinpoint the optimal location for privacy and largest pool of
victims. The only thing separating Anthony Weiner from the stereotypical trench
coat wearing perv is the inability to plan ahead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no skulking in the shadows for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drop pants. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take photo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Press
send.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Self-called “sexperts” are calling Weiner’s proclivity for
snap and send a sexting addiction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m assuming most people who think there is such a thing as a sexting
addiction feel this term is a handful of notches above the term “mental
illness.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is flashing women an
addiction?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hopefully some experts will weigh in on this labeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Regardless of what you call it, this man needs help from a doctor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The compulsion to repeatedly expose one’s
gentials to others is a mental illness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Weiner says he has sought help for his condition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He claims he has received help from his
wife.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Enter stage right the schlumping Huma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Supporting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Smiling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Speaking
out on her husband’s behalf.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s
sticking with it all so she can keep her family together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s certainly free to do such a
thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps she’s sticking
until she feels better about a decision to no longer stick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She seems as if she’s a deep thinker rather
than a rash decision maker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, how sad would it be to see down the road, Huma explaining to
her adult son how she felt it was best to be an enabler (she may use the term “supportive”)?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How it was better to let her husband do
as he pleased and repeatedly humiliate her in public and private.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She may say in 16 years, “And now,
Jordan, you have learned so much from your dad, go out in the world and show
everyone what you have learned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t
forget to charge your cell phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are lots of young ladies waiting to hear from you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently, I’ve read several articles on Huma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What we seem to admire most about this
woman we have labeled “strength.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Had this situation be reversed, Huma sexting and Anthony supporting, we
would not be saying Weiner was strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No sireeee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What seems to
pass for strength for political wives these days is to withstand shit storms
without an umbrella.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strength
seems to mean getting sucker punched in public and keeping your head up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Had Weiner been able to keep it in his pants,
unphotographed, he would have gone far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For all I know, he still might.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But first, dude, back it up a little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drop out of the mayoral race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t force people to vote for a liar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Real help from someone with a certificate on the wall with
seals, and signatures and all that stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stop talking about you for one damn minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apologize to your wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In public.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turn
in your cell phone and check yourself in somewhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give us a call (without photo) when you are well, in control
of yourself, and ready to act like a man, a husband and a father.</div>
Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-65119066854971726562013-07-10T16:32:00.000-07:002013-07-10T16:32:38.110-07:00MadRick Perry will never end abortions in Texas.<br />
<br />
Never.<br />
<br />
He may end legal and safe abortions.<br />
<br />
He will most definitely increase the death rate of women who will attempt "back alley" abortions.<br />
<br />
He will most definitely increase the suicide rate among women, especially young women and girls.<br />
<br />
He will not safeguard women's health in any way.<br />
<br />
He has completely mislead himself and those that believe in him by calling himself pro-life. Pro-life does not include women butchered by illegal abortions and babies found in dumpsters.<br />
<br />
Rick Perry will NEVER end abortions in Texas.<br />
<br />
No one will end abortions anywhere.Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-44479210184836490032013-07-03T05:15:00.000-07:002013-07-03T05:16:37.306-07:00From Somewhere Elsebut, Good Heavens, I've GOT to share this:<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://margaretandhelen.com/2013/07/02/if-my-vagina-shot-bullets-could-i-conceal-it-from-rick-perry-and-john-kasich/">Margaret and Helen Awesomeness </a>. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7139617180329994321">Enough said? </a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7139617180329994321"> Probably not.</a>Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-34362874152694330892013-04-16T07:06:00.000-07:002013-04-16T07:06:27.215-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEissq1tZ8JRB-9f9iAUkEhHoHi7YMzQ6IOG_W4ueTtyHwGNdF76JcnKGYkVvJOtejcsHd9-Y13-M3kBMXaC-euwUmkSXtYuh8wmEqCO-Z6caKkdfHa7wkpT9HL15IiY-DGd8UanMtDMjiyb/s1600/IMG_0154.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEissq1tZ8JRB-9f9iAUkEhHoHi7YMzQ6IOG_W4ueTtyHwGNdF76JcnKGYkVvJOtejcsHd9-Y13-M3kBMXaC-euwUmkSXtYuh8wmEqCO-Z6caKkdfHa7wkpT9HL15IiY-DGd8UanMtDMjiyb/s320/IMG_0154.JPG" width="204" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This is my daughter's whiteboard. Sometimes I wonder just who the hell she is.<br />
<br />
If I were to write my schedule on a whiteboard, what would it say.<br />
<br />
Get up<br />
Seek inspiration<br />
Eat<br />
Shower<br />
Seek inspiration<br />
Laundry<br />
Snack<br />
Seek inspiration<br />
Lunch<br />
Seek inspiration<br />
Laundry<br />
Do something else<br />
Snack<br />
Seek inspiration<br />
Walk dog<br />
Snack<br />
Laundry<br />
Seek inspiration<br />
Do something<br />
Eat<br />
Mess with stuff, things and crap (noun, not verb)<br />
Snack<br />
Drink<br />
Television<br />
Bed<br />
<br />
It's quite depressing to see my day all written out.<br />
<br />
Think I'll erase my whiteboard.<br />
<br />
<br />
Get up<br />
Seek<br />
Eat<br />
Sh<br />
S<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-5769453293296991042013-04-08T13:48:00.001-07:002013-04-08T13:48:29.815-07:00Domestic BlissDomestic Bliss has been achieved.<br />
<br />
<br />
Side porch has been cleared of two tons of pollen and mopped.<br />
<br />
A couple more boxes have been emptied and contents have been displayed.<br />
<br />
The house smells of fresh laundry and that room spray that I got suckered into buying.<br />
<br />
Some dusting done (that damn pollen).<br />
<br />
Iced coffee run.<br />
<br />
Going to doctor up some frozen ravioli for dinner.<br />
<br />
Wine will be opened after kiddo goes to bed.<br />
<br />
A date with Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives (yes, I am slow to catch on to shows).<br />
<br />
OH YEAH! A GREAT DAY FOR HOUSEWIFERY!<br />
<br />
(and, yes, bonbons were consumed)Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-44699611127031482862013-03-25T12:21:00.000-07:002013-03-25T12:21:14.746-07:00Still Here (somewhere)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGkh-O1CVNx_bugt_FWd8tzDJvZ7J-tJNcs9bksrnZiV4ceQriiEOQXb7FUNnRJaF4fmvK9E7Ahmk0lcKaRQkr1mTjA2QZVW-lC9bFAu_OcaTnNFZEGxnL6bjMThJ2x8xH8OWrjaTS0xcF/s1600/newstudio3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGkh-O1CVNx_bugt_FWd8tzDJvZ7J-tJNcs9bksrnZiV4ceQriiEOQXb7FUNnRJaF4fmvK9E7Ahmk0lcKaRQkr1mTjA2QZVW-lC9bFAu_OcaTnNFZEGxnL6bjMThJ2x8xH8OWrjaTS0xcF/s320/newstudio3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS4AcyQobaDtKCzumRWQkXgPC7OnwocJYBI2ZExsa5Bom3P5UZLmND4bRzpUbTjxAC7vhU_ZdjRKqq_aUrHegXrqjvLt3dZLcO1CzsowQ3QUAafdrtV3MpmnZX-v3bEZyx1SZD0yvZMXpu/s1600/IMG_0138.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS4AcyQobaDtKCzumRWQkXgPC7OnwocJYBI2ZExsa5Bom3P5UZLmND4bRzpUbTjxAC7vhU_ZdjRKqq_aUrHegXrqjvLt3dZLcO1CzsowQ3QUAafdrtV3MpmnZX-v3bEZyx1SZD0yvZMXpu/s320/IMG_0138.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
So, I hope these photos are proof enough that I exist somewhere. Or at least proof that my cat does.<br />
<br />
I haven't posted much lately. I'm not sure for what reasons. I'll list some possibilities.<br />
<br />
1. Lazy<br />
2. Busy exploring Charleston<br />
3. Taste testing iced coffee<br />
4. Lazy again<br />
5. In too good of a mood to bitch, and this blog has been mostly about bitching.<br />
6. Kind of lost and not sure what is going on.<br />
<br />
My Dad died in early December, right when we were packing up for our move. Christmas really didn't seem to happen for me. Yes, there were presents and visiting my sister and her family. But there were no Christmas trees and lights and other happy stuff. Then we land in Charleston and start setting up house. My daughter started her new school and I started getting to work in my new studio. Yet nothing felt right. Nothing felt valid unless I had a parent to tell. Things are FINALLY starting to gel, yet I do not feel right with myself. I do not feel the same. I'm not sure yet how to feel.<br />
<br />
This place is good. The house, the city, the weather. And I'm really at my best when I'm bitching about things. I feel I have it too good when so many people are struggling (or worse). Good God, am I going to bitch about having it too good!?!?!?!<br />
<br />
I've completed one new piece and am almost done with another. I was terrified of not being able to create, but so far, so good. If an old photo of Charles Darwin can set me to work then my creative switch must be turned to "high." <br />
<br />
I know there's plenty out there to bitch about, but since I don't subscribe to the local paper and don't get on Facebook as much as I used to, I'm just rolling along blissful and ignorant.<br />
<br />
If anyone has any suggestions for something for the housewife to crab about, please let me know.Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-91181816194454816042013-01-30T06:06:00.001-08:002013-01-30T06:06:45.276-08:00Archie and Edith Go South<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5GT7ocgLFKNeeD8i4V-x5zTXLOoqWOCFbG6ZF2DmhCxpoe16z7DhROFfbqGj4Q-wgoypj6ySsIYAy2yp9v0t_94SrM5Ba78arkqDBvtZ0Qf37ZepyFGEqFpkqC9fF0ZO2NCTjHXz2VTEr/s1600/chairs.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5GT7ocgLFKNeeD8i4V-x5zTXLOoqWOCFbG6ZF2DmhCxpoe16z7DhROFfbqGj4Q-wgoypj6ySsIYAy2yp9v0t_94SrM5Ba78arkqDBvtZ0Qf37ZepyFGEqFpkqC9fF0ZO2NCTjHXz2VTEr/s320/chairs.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Upon arriving in Charleston (ok, well before), I perused a handful (ok, stacks) of decorating books and magazines to glean ideas for decorating our "new" house. I had visions of a lovely living room with a sofa and two matching chairs.<br />
<br />
There are some things I did not consider.<br />
<br />
I like a festive fabric. My husband likes dark animal hides.<br />
<br />
My husband likes to recline. I prefer to remain upright.<br />
<br />
Our butts are shaped differently.<br />
<br />
I wanted a chair that would go with our new paint color. I wanted to coordinate with the other objects that I had slated for this room. I wanted the room to be light and uplifting.<br />
<br />
My husband really didn't give a shit. He thinks with his butt. <br />
<br />
Perhaps I can work with this? In a world where there are worse problems, I can't complain (much). But the second he asks me to fetch him a beer, all hell will break loose and someone will have a serious problem.<br />
<br />Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-30852778900730264772012-12-13T15:51:00.000-08:002012-12-13T15:51:05.595-08:00You're Not Listening!Today's Christmas card take -- three.<br />
<br />
Yep -- postcard style photo cards.<br />
<br />
No personal message.<br />
<br />
No signature.<br />
<br />
No ink.<br />
<br />
No glitter.<br />
<br />
No ho ho ho.<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
The condoms of Christmas cards.<br />
<br />
I'm starting to wonder if latex gloves are worn on the senders' Christmas card assembly lines.<br />
<br />
I feel dirty and nonfestive.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-39441169956924224022012-12-12T06:02:00.000-08:002012-12-12T06:02:20.410-08:00The Damn PhoneThat's what it is called it this household. The Damn Phone.<br />
<br />
When it rings, I ask, "Who's on The Damn Phone?' Or, "Who's calling on The Damn Phone this time of night?"<br />
<br />
For the love of Pete, I detest The Damn Phone.<br />
<br />
People call you up on it to talk you into doing things you don't want to do. Sometimes it's an out-of-towner wanting to drop off their child so they can get themselves a little afternoon delight. Or a solicitor wanting some money. Or gangs of solicitors wanting all of my money and then some. How about a little (or a lot) of volunteering. Or calls that begin with, "I hope you don't mind, but . . ."<br />
<br />
And, of course, the worst. Someone has died.<br />
<br />
This morning, I have a lot to do. A LOT TO DO. I've got to clean my house out for the renters, and what the hell, I just better get it done before my mother-in-law arrives on the 21st. That's a long way away you say? But I also have to pack and plan for the movers on the 18th. But I can't turn on the vacuum until people return calls that I made earlier this morning. I have important questions for the head of the school that my daughter will be attending in Charleston. I have to know if the plumber is going to replace my kitchen faucet so the renters don't get flooded out the first moment they need a glass of water.<br />
<br />
I hate it when I get my info. together and dial out on The Damn Phone, only to discover I've got to sit by The Damn Phone and wait to actually talk to a real person. I usually make my husband dial out, but since he's on the road, I have to do it.<br />
<br />
So that's it. Just a little bit of bitching. But inside I'm seething. I have important shit to do. And I better not find out that these folks I'm waiting on are just standing next to the coffee maker waiting to get themselves a cup. Maybe they are just avoiding The Damn Phone.Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-7981431422605467592012-12-06T06:54:00.000-08:002012-12-06T06:54:31.293-08:00Just One More TryEach year, I do the Christmas Card post. Sometimes I copy from the year before and leave it at that. Other times I copy and edit and embellish. This time, I'm just going to plead.<br />
<br />
If I am on your Christmas Card list, I'm delighted. Whether you are a friend, an acquaintance, or merely someone who has repaired my furnace or cleaned my teeth, it doesn't matter. I love a card. I like those cards to be cute, glittery, gorgeous, filled with confetti, festooned with ribbon, city stylized, kissing kousin kountry, red and green, blue and white, black and yellow, and decorated with Jesus, snowmen, zebras, angels, trees, RVs, balls, bells, and whistles.<br />
<br />
I also will read your newsletter. If you care to send me the long form, I will happily read it because, chances are, I care. And I really like it when you tuck in a photo of your kids, your dogs or your vacation home. Especially the kid. If I like you, then I probably like your kid. I even want to know if they've made the honor roll or graduated from braces and headgear.<br />
<br />
Just please, please, please don't send that one-sided, unsigned, undecorated photo of your dog, kid, or vacation home that poses as a complete holiday card. And when you print out the envelope on your computer and your housekeeper then stuffs all of the envelopes, I'm going to want to tell you to stuff it. Hell, I even get a little calendar from the dude at the local used car lot and my local realtor (I haven't purchased a house here in 15 years). Put a bit of ink on the damn thing or don't send it. I'd rather you send me a picture on facebook of your middle finger. At least that's personal.<br />
<br />
Happy Holidays<br />
Merry Christmas<br />
Happy Kwanzaa<br />
Happy Chanukah<br />
and so on<br />
<br />Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7139617180329994321.post-62371994163201026772012-10-24T17:09:00.000-07:002012-10-24T17:09:47.563-07:00For the Love of Christ, Show Us Your Bling
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A couple of months ago, I went with my family to New York
City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband was participating
in a conference and my daughter and I were there to visit the zoo, shop, and
see as much artwork as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One outing involved what my daughter considered to be a long subway
ride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I had already inflicted
several trips by subway upon her (some involving incorrect stops resulting in
more subway rides), my daughter was a bit tired by our third day of sightseeing
and subway cruising.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After
several people had exited at a busy stop, my daughter spotted two open seats
near the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was on her way
to the closet seat when a twenty-something, able-bodied couple pushed in front
of her to take the seats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have
been to the city several times and are quite used to pushy people, but this
time my daughter got just a bit of a quivery upper lip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shrugged and tried to tell her with my eyes that this was
just what happens in the big city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also wanted to tell those seat-stealing folks how I felt about them
with my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of
looking deep into the eyes of the worst offender (young, well-cut dude), my
eyes were enchanted by the movement of something shiny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very shiny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And very gold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, this dude was
able-bodied enough to be able to bear the weight of a 6” crucifix.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Six inches might not seem like a
great deal, but when it is a chunk of heavy swinging metal -- that’s a heck of
a lot of cross to wear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially
for a man who did not ask himself, in front of a tired child, what would Jesus
do?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m thinking that Jesus would stand while a child sat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus would be aware of his
surroundings and would give a damn about the suffering of others, no matter how
minor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus wouldn’t sprawl over
two subway seats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I’m assuming
this dude is wearing the cross because he is representing Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could be he’s just making a fashion
statement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s an ass adorned with a cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A cross that is likely to take out the
front teeth of anyone that is in swinging radius.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
ride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We get off several stops
later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I begin to notice others wearing crosses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I see many, I’ve yet to see one quite as large.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I noticed three women at the hotel wearing crucifixes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Smaller.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More discreet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yet somehow, just as disturbing as the dude’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each one was inset with diamonds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did these women go into their local jeweler’s and say, “I’d
like a diamond necklace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d like a symbol of my Savior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I combine the
two?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe these necklaces were
gifts from their adoring husbands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Did their husbands walk into the jewelry store and request a special
something for their pious brides?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They certainly wore these pendants with pride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The glint in their eyes seemed to say, “Look upon my
chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There you will see my love
for Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I love
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I want YOU to know that I
love the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a lamb of my Savior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also don’t give a shit about children
mining for gold and diamonds in African countries. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are not lambs of the Savior. I am blessed and those
children can dig those freakin’ diamonds up for me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you must show innocent bystanders that you are a
Christian, forget the bling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get
yourself two rough sticks of wood, lash them together with ragged twine or a
bit of shoelace too small for a homeless person to use, and string that around
your neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make sure it’s pretty
darn big. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And heavy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might also want to think about adding
some nails and thorns for a bit of discomfort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be a bit easier, and far less expensive, to go
about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And nearby children would not have to
fear having their teeth knocked out.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Who you callin' housewife?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11938971484285955029noreply@blogger.com2