Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Things I Never Want to Hear Again

I'm not writing anything serious today. It's too sunny, my house is filled with peonies, and after planting flowers I am freshly showered. So I'm as close to happy as I can be.

Sure, I know there are lots of serious things I never want to hear or hear about again -- violence, hunger, oil spills. Not going there.

But I'm going here:

Things I never want to hear again.
  1. The sound of my dog vomiting.
  2. The sound of my cat vomiting.
  3. The sound of a spoiled rotten kid whining.
  4. "I just loooooove WalMart!"
  5. Gas-powered lawn tools operated by a sweaty, shirtless dickhead while I'm planting flowers.
  6. The name Kardashian
  7. Rap music. Yeah, I know I'm not cool. I'm just tired of this shit dumbing down society.
  8. Extreme flatulence in a McDonald's restroom.
  9. Chicks snapping their gum while standing next to me, or anywhere for that matter.
  10. The sound of my garbage disposal tearing up another spoon.

What about the rest of you guys? What sounds annoy you to no end?


  1. Leaf blowers and chain saws. I hate them. What happened to using a broom or a rake? Get your exercise while doing yard work - not on a treadmill at the Y or in front of a Wii. And what is there to cut with a chainsaw in the burbs? You've already cut down most of the trees, if there ever were any.

  2. the fuckheads working out below me at all hours of the day. the neighbors pissing. the neighbors rattling the ladder to climb the roof to party. the donut wheel truck backing up at 4am with that BEEP BEEP BEEP sound. the trash truck showing up 2 times a week at 4am. the street cleaner from 1am-3 or 4am up and down up and down. the new jin shu jitsu class being held OUTSIDE BELOW OUR WINDOW WITH STUPID PEOPLE POUNDING SLEDGE HAMMERS OVER AND OVER INTO A BIG FAT TIRE big stupid trucks with mufflers the size of my toros spitting out big noisy blasts the sound the 3" cockroaches flying around my head the sound of my head buzzing the birds chirping the prison horn blasting....i could go on and on.

  3. I thought this was going to be a lovey dovey post!!

    I think between you and the two comments above most annoying sounds have been covered.

    So I will quietly press the comment button and bid you a nice day. :-)

    Peggy xxxxx

  4. oh god, am I ever with you on number 6

  5. Couldn't agree more...although the smell of dog vomit I never want to smell again.
    As to sounds...we have loud, high-pitched electric street sweepers that drive around in the middle of the night.